Breaking The Stigma on Mental Health Counseling

I had planned on writing this post already a few weeks, ago, and then with the recent high profile suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, the topic seemed even more timely than before.

I read this piece that said that Kate Spade's death reminds us that we really need to destigmatize mental health issues, and everything the author said was 100% true. For that reason, when I hear about celebrities talking about their own mental health issues, and that they go to therapy, my view of them goes way up. I happen to really love Kristen Bell and how she acts (though I haven't seen the more inappropriate movies she was in) and when I saw that she wrote this love ballad to her therapist, I began to like her as a person and not just an actress, because she's doing a great job destigmatizing mental health counseling.

Here's the hilarious and heartwarming song. Warning; there is a curse word in it (for those who are sensitive to foul language), but she really manages to explain how many people with great therapists feel about their therapists.



And her talking about this, and the other high profile suicides plus a lot of introspection have given me the confidence to do something I haven't had the guts to do beforehand.

I'm coming out of the closet. I can't really write about breaking the stigma about mental health counseling and mental health issues in general when I myself am perpetuating the stigma by refusing to acknowledge my own issues.

So here it is. I go to therapy. Mental health counseling. Whatever you want to call it.


I used to think that if someone goes to a therapist, they have to have something "wrong" with them. That they have "issues", and are "problematic" and "weird".

And then I grew up. And I learned more. And I realized that there is no shame in admitting that our lives are not perfect. No one is. We all don't enter adulthood unscathed; no matter what we went through in our childhood, and even our adulthood, there are things that leave a mark on your psyche and there's no shame in going to a therapist to learn how to make your emotional and mental health even better than it was, to learn how to retrain your brain "muscles", the same way that people go to physical therapists if they've been using the muscles in their body incorrectly for years, to relearn how to use that muscle so they feel better.

But despite the fact that I've been trying to hint at my own mental health issues on my blog for a while, I've been extremely scared. Because some people, the second they hear you have mental health issues, they expect you to just hush up about it, because there's something deep dark and "dirty" about your brain working less than optimally. So many people have come out of the closet about their mental health issues and then been shunned for doing so. And because there is such a hush hush about mental health, its considered a shameful secret, and people think that people should just "get over it" and apply "mind over matter" and "fake it till you make it" and all these other trite meaningless things that don't actually work if you have mental health issues... and then when people who are struggling try to do this "mind over matter" that everyone tells them they should do and they don't succeed, it just makes them feel even worse about themselves than they already did.
Or, sometimes what happens is they are so ashamed of how they feel that they shove those emotions deep down, and it comes out in other ways. For myself, I did such a good job shoving down those feelings I didn't like and didn't want to have, and it came out in the form of horrible debilitating panic attacks that got more and more frequent, in addition to some other issues.

The stigma on mental health issues is dangerous.

It leads to people feeling very alone, which only makes mental health issues all the more painful, because you feel you're the only one in the world who is feeling that way. And you're convinced that nothing will help. And things like that, that hopelessness, is what leads people to committing suicide. Because they feel things are hopeless, and that the world would be better off without them.

But I'm happy to share that more and more lately, there are some people opening up the discussion about mental health issues. Whether on Facebook, especially in various groups on Facebook, and there, people talk about how they've benefited from going to therapy and how it's helped their mental health issues. Blog posts like this one by my friend Daniella about her personal experience in therapy make people feel a little less hopeless. When I was first considering going to therapy, and then feeling conflicted about it during some of my initial therapy sessions, Daniella held my hand through it and convinced me and reassured me. And I only knew to even go to her because she's been so open about her own struggles with mental health.

I guess the final thing that gave me the push to open up about my own mental health issues and that I go to therapy is an email I got the other day from a long time reader on my blog. She was feeling hopeless and down and really depressed and alone and reached out to me, seeking a lifeline. When I responded to her that I also struggle with mental health issues, she was reassured and we started a nice correspondence which she said was very helpful to her and helped her move in positive directions for taking care of her mental health.

One thing though; she was shocked that I have mental health issues. Because from her perspective, my life seemed perfect- why would I be struggling? But let me tell you a secret: no one's life is perfect. And even if your life was perfect, mental health issues don't discriminate: poor, rich, successful, "failure", no matter your ethnicity or socioeconomic level or marital status, everyone can get mental health issues. And there is no shame in that. No shame in going to therapy. In fact, I firmly believe that every single person in the world would benefit from therapy.

So, I'm risking a lot. I'm taking a chance. Coming out of the closet fully and saying it loud and clear: I, Penny Price, have diagnosed mental health issues. (Anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD and some others.) And I go to therapy. And it has changed my life, and really made my life so much better. I still have a long way to go, but I'm already seeing a huge change from when I started nearly 2 years ago. I know some people will disrespect me for "airing my dirty laundry" and sharing something that they view shameful. But I refuse to be silent anymore. I refuse to cower and hide and pretend that everything is perfect when it isn't. It never is, and that's ok, because I have a good support system. And that is one of the things that is most important. A support system, either online or in person, or both.
And to take care of your mental health by doing a decent amount of self care.

And if someone decided to stop reading my blog, or to mock me or attempt to publicly shame me because they can't respect me anymore because I have anxiety, depression, and more? Well then, I guess their loss. I won't live my life afraid of what people will say. I won't contribute to the culture of shame we have about mental health issues.

And if you're worried that my revelation about my mental health issues will change the focus of this blog, don't worry, it won't. I still plan on writing about the same things that I anyhow write about, but this time, maybe if I write about something I spent money on that you might find unnecessary, now I can at least be open that that was worth the money because that was my type of self care.

I'm not sure what type of questions to leave at the bottom of this. I'm opening this up for discussion, feel free to ask me any questions that you want, I just may or may not answer depending on how comfortable I am answering that. And just a note, as with all my comments. I screen them and don't allow anything nasty and inflammatory through. So think before you comment if you're planning on leaving a nastygram.