How to Stand Strong When Caring for Children and Parents Simultaneously

People my age are starting to be part of the sandwich generation, with parents that are elderly and need tending to, while also taking care of younger children. It still is a shock to me to realize my parents are actually getting old, and they're not nearly as old as many of my peers' parents. Caring for two generations at once can take a toll emotionally on a person. Here are some ways to minimize that toll.

Approximately 23% of adults in the US are part of the “sandwich generation,” meaning they are simultaneously caring for their child and for their older parents. Those in their 40s are most likely to be part of this generation, since more than 50% of them have a parent aged 65 or over living in their home while they are raising a child under 18 or financially supporting an older child. On average, they provide around 28 hours of weekly care to their children and 22 hours to their aging relatives, totaling 50 hours a week. For those who are working, juggling so many responsibilities can be a burden, not only for their physical health but also for their mental health. In this blog post, we will discuss the main challenges faced by this generation and effective strategies to overcome them.

The Psychological Impact of Caring for Parents and Children

A study relying on data obtained from the Panel Study of Income Dynamics found that being part of the sandwich generation does not automatically produce worse health and well-being outcomes. However, those who spend a significant number of hours on performing tasks for their children and parents (including errands, rides, chores, babysitting, and hands-on care) have almost twice the odds of experiencing severe psychological distress than those who have more time to themselves. Sandwich generation caregivers also report higher levels of financial and emotional distress than their counterparts who do not have to take care of two different generations of family members. They may have so many duties to fulfill that they experience caregiver overload or burnout. Many may also be struggling financially because their family responsibilities force them to reduce their work hours, turn down promotions, or even quit their jobs.

Solutions for Parents

It is vital for caregivers to lead a balanced life; one that takes their needs into account as much as those of their loved ones. One solution is to opt for respite care for their parents. This is a short-term option for people needing a break. It can be accessed in their home, in the community, or in a residential aged care home. Even just a few hours a week can make a big difference to a caregiver’s quality of life without breaking the bank. Other solutions include scheduled aid from family members and friends who are like part of the family. Caregivers need to destigmatize asking for help and avoid trying to do everything themselves. If they have symptoms of anxiety and depression, it is important to visit a mental health professional for diagnosis and treatment.

Making Time for Self-Care

Caregivers can battle the stress of family obligations by taking time for self-care. The latter works best when a multifaceted approach is adopted that includes good sleep, proper nutrition, and time for regular workouts. Stressed caregivers can benefit greatly from taking just a few minutes a day for mindfulness activities like yoga and meditation, which have been found in study after study to dramatically reduce levels of the stress hormone, cortisol.

If you are a member of the sandwich generation, then you may often feel overwhelmed by the many expectations placed upon you. Challenges can include not having enough time to work, care for others, and care for yourself. Seek help from respite services, family, and friends, and prioritize yourself for at least a few minutes a day, relying on exercise and mindfulness activities to help you manage stress.

Penniless Parenting

Mommy, wife, writer, baker, chef, crafter, sewer, teacher, babysitter, cleaning lady, penny pincher, frugal gal

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