It doesn't matter how capable of a person you think you are, how much you like to be independent and do things on your own, the postpartum period is challenging and takes a toll on a new mother's mind and body. Babies aren't born knowing when it is day and night, feeding doesn't always go easily, and some babies are hard to console. Dealing with that while your body is still recovering from childbirth (and even the easiest childbirth still leaves you with a placenta sized wound inside your uterus) and pregnancy, not to mention all the hormones coursing through your system which mess, not only with your body, but also your brain, can cause many moms to feel very overwhelmed and out of their depths. Support is vital. Hopefully, these new moms have a supportive partner who can help them, but that isn't always the case. And even with a supportive partner, sometimes it just isn't enough. Getting help from a community and family and friends makes such a difference. Here are some more reasons why.
Becoming a new mother is an exhilarating, life-changing experience. From the first coos to the sleepless nights, it’s a rollercoaster of emotions and responsibilities. As magical as it is, adjusting to life with a newborn can be overwhelming. The good news? You don’t have to do it all alone. There are plenty of ways to receive help that will make this journey smoother and more enjoyable.
Here are some of the best ways for new mothers to get the support they need while navigating the joys and challenges of early parenthood:
1. Lean on Family and Friends
Your loved ones are often your first line of support. Don’t hesitate to ask for help—whether it’s babysitting, running errands, or simply holding the baby while you grab a quick shower.
Real-life example: When Sarah had her first baby, her mom offered to stay with her for the first two weeks. Having someone to cook meals, do laundry, and provide reassurance made all the difference.
If your family doesn’t live nearby, consider setting up a rotating schedule with friends. For example, one friend might bring over dinner, while another helps with grocery shopping. A little help can go a long way.
2. Join a Mom Group
Connecting with other mothers can provide a sense of camaraderie and shared understanding. Local mom groups, often found through community centers or social media, are fantastic for advice, playdates, and emotional support.
Practical advice: Look for mom groups on platforms like Facebook or Meetup. Many communities also have library story times or stroller-friendly walking groups that welcome new moms.
Personal anecdote: Emily, a first-time mom, found her local mom group to be a lifeline. “We’d meet every Friday at the park,” she says. “Just hearing other moms talk about their sleepless nights made me feel less alone.”
3. Utilize Professional Help
Sometimes, professional support is exactly what you need. Lactation consultants, postpartum doulas, and night nurses specialize in helping new mothers and their babies.
Example: If you’re struggling with breastfeeding, a lactation consultant can provide guidance and troubleshoot issues. Postpartum doulas can assist with baby care, light household tasks, and even emotional support during the early weeks.
4. Take Advantage of Online Resources
In today’s digital age, help is often just a click away. Parenting blogs, forums, and apps provide valuable tips and allow you to connect with other parents.
Suggestion: Download apps like Peanut (a social network for moms) or The Wonder Weeks (for tracking your baby’s development). These resources can answer questions and provide reassurance, especially during late-night feeding sessions.
5. Hire an Au Pair
If you’re looking for consistent help with childcare while also exposing your family to a different culture, hiring an au pair could be an excellent option. Au pairs live with your family and provide childcare in exchange for room, board, and a stipend.
Real-life example: When Lauren returned to work after her maternity leave, she hired an au pair from France. “Not only did she help with the baby, but she also taught us French phrases and cooked amazing meals from her culture,” Lauren shares. “It was like gaining a family member.”
Practical advice: Research companies that provide au pair services carefully to find a good fit for your family’s needs. Be clear about expectations, schedules, and responsibilities to ensure a smooth experience for everyone involved.
6. Accept Help When It’s Offered
As mothers, we often feel the need to be superhuman. But accepting help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of wisdom.
Practical tip: If someone offers to bring you dinner or hold the baby while you nap, say yes. It’s one less thing for you to worry about.
Personal anecdote: When Lisa’s neighbor offered to take her toddler to the park while she tended to her newborn, she initially hesitated. “I felt guilty for saying yes,” she admits. “But after an hour of quiet, I realized how much I needed that break.”
7. Practice Self-Care
Caring for a baby is demanding, but taking care of yourself is equally important. Prioritize small moments of self-care, whether it’s a 10-minute meditation, a warm bath, or a walk around the block.
Tip: Schedule self-care into your day, just like any other appointment. Communicate with your partner or support system to ensure you get those moments to recharge.
8. Explore Community Resources
Many communities offer free or low-cost resources for new parents. From parenting classes to baby supplies, these programs can be a lifesaver.
Where to look: Check with local hospitals, churches, or community centers. Many organizations provide new-mom care packages, meal trains, or even free counseling services.
9. Communicate with Your Partner
If you have a partner, open communication is essential. Share responsibilities and discuss how you can support each other during this transition.
Practical advice: Create a schedule for nighttime feedings or diaper changes to ensure both of you get some rest. Regular check-ins can also help address any concerns before they become overwhelming.
Personal anecdote: Jenna and her husband set up a “tag team” system. “When I’d nurse at night, he’d handle the burping and diaper changes,” she says. “It made us feel like we were in it together.”
10. Give Yourself Grace
Perhaps the most important piece of advice is to be kind to yourself. You’re learning and growing alongside your baby. Perfection isn’t the goal—love and effort are what truly matter.
Reassurance: There will be days when the house is messy, and you’re still in your pajamas by noon. That’s okay. Celebrate small victories, like a successful feeding or a baby’s first smile.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood is a journey best navigated with support. By leaning on loved ones, seeking professional help, and tapping into community and online resources, you’ll create a network that empowers you to thrive. Remember, asking for help doesn’t make you less of a mom—it makes you a stronger one. After all, it takes a village to raise a child, and you deserve a village that uplifts and cares for you.