Are you trying to find a new partner, possibly post divorce? Here are some things to keep in mind, common mistakes that people sometimes make when starting out in a relationship. Avoid these and hopefully your relationship will be successful.
Relationships are difficult things to navigate aren’t they? Particularly if you’re carrying that little bit more baggage, have children in tow or just coming out of a messy divorce. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find love.
In fact, far from it. The person you want to spend the rest of your life with could be just around the corner. However, there are certain things you may wish to avoid early on in a relationship.
There are so many common mistakes made in the early stages of a relationship, and here are some of the biggest you want to be avoiding if you’re just entering the dating scene…
Don’t fall too fast
Naturally, one of the things many of us do to rather a sorry ending is fall too fast. You’re in a relationship for a week and you start thinking they’re the “one”. You barely know that person yet.
Many people these days are less in a hurry to seriously commit to a relationship, so the best thing to do is take it slow and ensure that you’re both at the same level of seriousness together. There’s nothing wrong with having a serious conversation about that, as being at different levels will lead to crossed wires, arguments and probably an unhappy ending.
Don’t avoid the serious subjects
While it’s important to not go too fast, the serious subjects on both sides shouldn’t be avoided. Many of us carry baggage and it’s being compassionate, understanding and empathetic that makes a relationship work.
If you have children, discuss them, if you have health conditions that mean you have to live your life in a certain way then a partner should be able to adapt to those. For example, yourself or your partner may be in recovery from addiction and have gone through alcohol or cocaine rehab. That’s something that should be made aware as naturally a person’s life changes after that and they may go through extremely difficult times at stages. It’s only fair a prospective partner knows all the information before diving into that relationship.
Don’t start talking money too soon
Of course it’s absolutely fine to discuss what each other does for a living, it’s usually a main topic of conversation. But talking about how much they earn or whether they own or rent their home is a little nosy and should be avoided.
It gives off the wrong impression and essentially it’ll make a partner or prospective partner simply think that you’re only interested in one thing - their bank balance.
Don’t fake interest in their hobbies
It’s a trap many of us fall into, but be honest about your interests. Don’t fake an interest in something they like just because they like it. It’s almost deception and you may end up getting dragged along regularly to their hobby even though you hate it.
Be polite, but be honest and sure you may go along once to try it, but it’s also absolutely fine to say that’s not for you. And let’s face it, it’s nice to be interested in different things too. It gives people space and keeps things interesting.