Though it isn't legal to sell it to them, teenagers often find a way to get alcohol, and teenaged drinking is a big problem. Far too many teenagers are getting drunk and getting into dangerous situations because of that. Is it inevitable? No. There are things you can do as parents to make it less likely for your teenaged children to abuse alcohol.
In my house growing up, alcohol was never this forbidden taboo thing. My father made wine, beer, mead, sake, and we were involved in the process. We were allowed to have regularly. My father modeled responsible drinking though; he never had more than a cup of wine or one shot of whiskey in a day, and he only really had a drink maybe once or twice a week. (My mother hates alcohol.) We kids were allowed to have small amounts of alcohol from when we were little. Of us 5 siblings, none of us were ever irresponsible with alcohol, despite some of us (myself included) hanging out in crowds with rebellious kids. It just wasn't this "cool thing" to do, this thing I felt a need to rebel with. Alcohol just was a fact of life, a drink, and that's it.
With my kids we do similarly. My younger kids can have a little wine mixed with grape juice once or twice a week, or some really low percentage alcohol (3-5 percent). My older kids (15 and 17) can have a little more, and if I'm making myself a cocktail, I might make one of them too (without putting too much alcohol in theirs). I, myself, have only ever been actually drink, more than just a little buzzed, twice in my 36 years of life. I have a high tolerance for alcohol (I assume because of my body size) so I may on occasion have 2 cups of wine or two cocktails. Each of my sons one time had too much alcohol and ended up throwing up and feeling awful and since then they've been very careful with alcohol- one swore off even the tiniest sip of alcohol for a year.
Because of safe access to alcohol and my modeling them safe behavior with alcohol, my teenagers are able to resist peer pressure and often are the safe ones getting their friends home safely when they are drunk.
In my house growing up, alcohol was never this forbidden taboo thing. My father made wine, beer, mead, sake, and we were involved in the process. We were allowed to have regularly. My father modeled responsible drinking though; he never had more than a cup of wine or one shot of whiskey in a day, and he only really had a drink maybe once or twice a week. (My mother hates alcohol.) We kids were allowed to have small amounts of alcohol from when we were little. Of us 5 siblings, none of us were ever irresponsible with alcohol, despite some of us (myself included) hanging out in crowds with rebellious kids. It just wasn't this "cool thing" to do, this thing I felt a need to rebel with. Alcohol just was a fact of life, a drink, and that's it.
With my kids we do similarly. My younger kids can have a little wine mixed with grape juice once or twice a week, or some really low percentage alcohol (3-5 percent). My older kids (15 and 17) can have a little more, and if I'm making myself a cocktail, I might make one of them too (without putting too much alcohol in theirs). I, myself, have only ever been actually drink, more than just a little buzzed, twice in my 36 years of life. I have a high tolerance for alcohol (I assume because of my body size) so I may on occasion have 2 cups of wine or two cocktails. Each of my sons one time had too much alcohol and ended up throwing up and feeling awful and since then they've been very careful with alcohol- one swore off even the tiniest sip of alcohol for a year.
Because of safe access to alcohol and my modeling them safe behavior with alcohol, my teenagers are able to resist peer pressure and often are the safe ones getting their friends home safely when they are drunk.
But what is the right time to talk to your children about alcohol? See here what another writer has to say on the topic.
As a result, it’s so important to ensure they are aware of alcohol and the effects it has on people so that when they encounter it as they grow up, they can make informed decisions on how they approach its accessibility and their relationship with it.
As parents, we know we need to talk to our children about alcohol at some point. But when exactly is the right time?
Start Early but Age-Appropriate
Actually, you may want to start talking about alcohol earlier than you think. It’s believed many children as young as seven or eight will already have an awareness of alcohol, whether that be at family parties and gatherings, sitting at home with parents or through the television.
Of course, at this age it’s not worthwhile going into the complexities of alcohol, but introducing the topic in an age-appropriate way can be worthwhile. At this point you want to focus on the drink only being for adults and the reasons why it’s important to wait until they are older before they try it.
Also you can start to discuss that drinking alcohol can affect how people feel and behave and that, essentially, it’s bad for you. That’s the clear message here.
Use Everyday Opportunities
Rather than sitting them down and having a thorough talk like you might with a teenager, introducing alcohol in everyday situations may be a better option. Someone drinking at a family event or seeing someone drinking on the TV can be a good option for this.
It allows you to casually bring up the topic but still get the message across. For example, if you’re at dinner drinking wine, you might want to explain how grown-ups have this sometimes but it’s not suitable for children. It may open up questions from them too and help normalise conversations about alcohol, which can be beneficial as you try to explain the intricacies in a little more detail as they get older.
Address Peer Pressure in Pre-Teens
By the time your child reaches pre-adolescence, around the ages of 10 to 12, peer pressure can start to become a more significant issue. At this stage, it’s important to have more in-depth discussions about alcohol and the social pressures they may face as they grow older. Children in this age group often become more aware of how alcohol is portrayed in the media and may start hearing about or seeing their peers experimenting with it.
It’s crucial to talk about the potential risks associated with drinking, such as its effects on their health and how it can impair judgement. Make sure they understand that it’s okay to say no and that they don’t need to drink to fit in or have fun. Role-playing different scenarios where they might feel pressured to drink can help them feel more confident in handling these situations. Encouraging an open dialogue will also make it easier for them to approach you in the future if they have any worries.
Reinforce the Message in the Teenage Years
As your child enters their teenage years, it becomes increasingly important to revisit the topic of alcohol regularly. Teenagers are more likely to encounter alcohol at parties or gatherings, and they may start feeling more independent in their decision-making. At this stage, it’s essential to reinforce the message that while they may feel tempted to try alcohol, it’s vital to understand the consequences of drinking at a young age.
Discuss the legal drinking age and why it exists, highlighting how alcohol affects young people differently than it does adults. Be clear about your expectations, while also fostering an environment where your teenager feels comfortable talking to you about the pressures they face. It’s important to avoid scare tactics; instead, focus on factual information and encourage responsible behaviour.
Lead by Example
Finally, one of the most powerful ways to influence your child’s views on alcohol is to lead by example. Children are highly observant and will often mimic the behaviours they see in their parents. If you drink alcohol, model responsible drinking habits by consuming it in moderation and avoiding situations where alcohol leads to negative behaviours. Show your child that alcohol, when handled responsibly, doesn’t need to be problematic but is something to be approached with care.
How do you handle the topic of alcohol with your children? How did your parents handle the topic with you? How did that work for you?