As a divorced person who runs a bunch of divorce women Facebook groups, I've heard so much about why different people divorce. There's this idea in society that people divorce because "we live in a disposable generation" and "don't take marriage seriously anymore" but that couldn't be further from the truth. Most people who divorce do it because of irreconcilable differences. Divorce is such a pain that no one does it without thinking long and hard about it. Most people try couples' counseling before they divorce to try to salvage it. But many marriages can't and shouldn't be salvaged. I know many people who got divorced who had many of the following reasons, not just one.
As for me? Marrying young is the biggest thing. More like marrying young before I went through enough therapy to figure out what the healthy choice for a marriage partner was. I never should have married my ex, he was wrong for me from the start in so many ways, but I was just so desperate to get married that I didn't do the intelligent thing. But hey, at least now I have 4 wonderful kids from that marriage, so at least some good came of it.
As for me? Marrying young is the biggest thing. More like marrying young before I went through enough therapy to figure out what the healthy choice for a marriage partner was. I never should have married my ex, he was wrong for me from the start in so many ways, but I was just so desperate to get married that I didn't do the intelligent thing. But hey, at least now I have 4 wonderful kids from that marriage, so at least some good came of it.
Infidelity
One of the most prevalent causes of divorce is unfaithfulness, which may manifest as either physical or emotional cheating. One spouse may irrevocably damage trust and respect when they discover that the other has had an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else. Consequently, adultery used to be the second most common reason for divorce.
Lack of Communication
Having good communication skills is essential for every relationship to stay healthy. When communication in a marriage becomes strained or broken, it can lead to a multitude of problems. Open and honest communication may help you and your spouse work through any issues you're facing, whether they're personal or marital. If you have any differences of opinion, you are also free to talk about them. Problems that start as a consequence of a lack of communication may quickly become much bigger problems. When communication goes down, it usually doesn't get back up to par enough to keep a relationship going.
Domestic Violence
According to divorcephoenixarizona.com, a prominent divorce lawyer Phoenix, "Domestic violence is a major cause of divorce. It may take various forms, including verbal, physical, sexual, emotional, and financial abuse. If they frequently abuse each other, one partner may develop or maintain dominance over the other in an abusive relationship.”
Not only may this kind of violence happen between spouses, but it can also affect any children born into the marriage. In case your children or yourself are in urgent danger, call 911 without delay.
Addiction
Numerous successful people in various industries were able to keep their addictions a secret while they rose to the top of their careers. Addiction comes in numerous forms and severity levels; nonetheless, many people with addiction have managed to maintain successful jobs.
They may be in complete denial about their partner's addiction, willing to turn a blind eye in return for material or social benefits, or even gaslighted into thinking they're crazy for suspecting addiction. No matter how it arrives, the moment of truth is always heartbreaking.
Marrying Too Young
Change and progress are inevitable, but relationships may suffer when partners fail to progress in tandem.
If you tied the knot at an early age, it might be because you haven't fully formed your personality yet.
There are several signs that you and your spouse may be drifting apart, including having different life goals, having no interests in common, and feeling lonely or alone.
Financial Problems
A partner who overspends or struggles to meet financial obligations can cause stress in a marriage.
If your spouse keeps asking you for money, it might mean they can't take accountability for their financial situation. Unresolved financial concerns are among the leading causes of divorce.
Lack of Commitment
A successful marriage requires the undivided attention of both partners. However, the definition of commitment can vary from person to person. For instance, one partner may think commitment means spending all the time together, while the other values quality time alone or with the other. Partners may also disagree on how much time, energy, money, and other resources to invest in the marriage. When problems come up, one partner may feel like the other isn't as invested in finding a solution. This imbalance in commitment, whether real or perceived, can be draining.
Differences in Religion
Pew Research found that 69 percent of married people feel their partner shares their religious views. Faith is not required for married partners, but it does increase the likelihood that their other values are compatible. As a result, the couple is more likely to agree to weekly religious attendance, to agree on how to raise their children, and to reap other practical benefits.
Marriage is typically less enjoyable for individuals who do not share a religious conviction; When couples marry without being clear about their religious beliefs, or if those views change over time, the chance of divorce increases.
Inequality
If one partner in a marriage puts their needs above those of the other, leading to a power imbalance, then the marriage is unequal. The most common way in which inequity impacts marriages is when responsibilities like childrearing and housework are not divided up as evenly and fairly as they should be.
As a generation, we were led to believe that we could "have it all," including a fulfilling career, the joys of motherhood, a lovely home that was always spotless, and a happy marriage. Truthfully, however, many have learned the hard way that it's impossible to have it all—at least not simultaneously—and certainly not without a partner who is understanding and helps out around the house and with the kids' chores.
Numerous successful people in various industries were able to keep their addictions a secret while they rose to the top of their careers. Addiction comes in numerous forms and severity levels; nonetheless, many people with addiction have managed to maintain successful jobs.
They may be in complete denial about their partner's addiction, willing to turn a blind eye in return for material or social benefits, or even gaslighted into thinking they're crazy for suspecting addiction. No matter how it arrives, the moment of truth is always heartbreaking.
Marrying Too Young
Change and progress are inevitable, but relationships may suffer when partners fail to progress in tandem.
If you tied the knot at an early age, it might be because you haven't fully formed your personality yet.
There are several signs that you and your spouse may be drifting apart, including having different life goals, having no interests in common, and feeling lonely or alone.
Financial Problems
A partner who overspends or struggles to meet financial obligations can cause stress in a marriage.
If your spouse keeps asking you for money, it might mean they can't take accountability for their financial situation. Unresolved financial concerns are among the leading causes of divorce.
Lack of Commitment
A successful marriage requires the undivided attention of both partners. However, the definition of commitment can vary from person to person. For instance, one partner may think commitment means spending all the time together, while the other values quality time alone or with the other. Partners may also disagree on how much time, energy, money, and other resources to invest in the marriage. When problems come up, one partner may feel like the other isn't as invested in finding a solution. This imbalance in commitment, whether real or perceived, can be draining.
Differences in Religion
Pew Research found that 69 percent of married people feel their partner shares their religious views. Faith is not required for married partners, but it does increase the likelihood that their other values are compatible. As a result, the couple is more likely to agree to weekly religious attendance, to agree on how to raise their children, and to reap other practical benefits.
Marriage is typically less enjoyable for individuals who do not share a religious conviction; When couples marry without being clear about their religious beliefs, or if those views change over time, the chance of divorce increases.
Inequality
If one partner in a marriage puts their needs above those of the other, leading to a power imbalance, then the marriage is unequal. The most common way in which inequity impacts marriages is when responsibilities like childrearing and housework are not divided up as evenly and fairly as they should be.
As a generation, we were led to believe that we could "have it all," including a fulfilling career, the joys of motherhood, a lovely home that was always spotless, and a happy marriage. Truthfully, however, many have learned the hard way that it's impossible to have it all—at least not simultaneously—and certainly not without a partner who is understanding and helps out around the house and with the kids' chores.