Self care is extremely important. So often people, especially women, are taught that they should be selfless, completely negating themselves, for the sake of taking care of others, such as their spouse and their kids.
My Story
I was stuck in that trap for years, and it made me in a worse and worse state, resentful of my family, feeling trapped, triggered beyond relief, and it made me spiral into the worst place emotionally I’d ever been in.
Basically, it really was a terrible idea.
And then I went to therapy and I was given homework. Do something for myself. Spend some money on something for myself that isn’t a need. It was really, really hard. But it was very important, and a big step in my healing.
It allowed me to start thinking of myself and my needs, and then I ended up doing probably the best self care I could have done- deciding that my marriage wasn’t healthy for me and deciding to get divorced.
Ok, that is not a low cost self care item, part of this list. But now that I’m divorced, I make sure to take care of my mental health by including important self care, especially low cost ones.
Here are some low cost or free self care ideas for you to include in your life. And, for the record, while self care can include pampering, it by far does not only mean facials- it means taking care of your needs and wants, in any way that presents itself.
Low Cost Self Care
The types of low cost self care can be divided into different categories. Here are just some of the many ideas you can do.
Emotional Self Care
Probably the most effective type of self care you can do is therapy. While this can be expensive, you can also look for cheaper options. If your insurance offers therapy, take them up on that offer. Many places that teach therapists often discounted, often extremely cheap, therapy with the therapists in training. And for a little more money but still affordable, you have online therapies such as Better Help.
Journaling is a very good way to self care as well. Just writing about what is on your mind and taking time to think about your life is a type of self care. You can make a gratitude list to track little daily wins and joys.
I am working with my therapist on building a positive inner voice and part of that is making a list of affirmations that ring true for me. Many of the standard affirmations just sound false to my inner self, but writing more specific ones that I know are authentic is my homework now between sessions and it is terrific self care.
Some of the things on my list are “I am good at teaching subjects in an engaging way. I’m a good problem solver. I love learning. I’m not afraid to admit I made a mistake about something. I am a better parent than the ones I grew up with.” Vs things like “I am awesome, I am smart, I am an amazing parent, I am lovable, I am talented” which just sound so cliche and don’t ring true in my ears (or probably most people). Once I finish this list I will try to start off my day reading them, or at least read them once a day.
Learn DBT and CBT skills, via books, the internet, or videos, and apply them to your life. Practice these skills such as mindfulness, meditation, and grounding techniques, using apps such as Headspace.
If there are social media accounts or personalities that make you feel yucky about yourself, or if, for example, Instagram as a whole does that, unfollow them or leave the platform entirely.
Take Care of Your Body
Spend time exercising. Nature is wonderful. These are free and proven to boost your mood.
Go to national parks, hike in the woods, go to the beach, or even just take regular walks around the neighborhood. Fresh air is great, and combined with the endorphins you get from exercising, this can’t be beat.
Cuddle. Get lots of hugs. Either from your friends, your kids, or even your pets. Physical touch is magic, and hugs, especially long ones, have proven psychological and even physical health benefits such as reducing inflammation in the body, lowering blood pressure, boosts your immune system, lowering your cortisol (stress hormone) levels in your body, and it releases oxytocin into your blood.
Do yoga, stretches, or exercises using free youtube videos. You might need to buy some basic equipment but after that, it is entirely free.
Eat a healthy diet, making sure to drink enough and eat healthy food regularly. You can’t be mentally stable if you aren’t taking care of those needs. Moms often end up neglecting to eat regular meals when taking care of their kids, but that is a terrible idea. Eat, my friend.
Take your meds. Yes, this too is self care, and it is really important. Do not forget. If you have a hard time remembering, set yourself reminders and alarms.
Get enough sleep. Try to go to bed a little earlier. Or take a nap if you can. Make yourself an enjoyable bedtime routine, such as with mood lighting, soft music or sleep sounds, and a cup of tea or a good book. Avoiding screens helps with better sleep (but ha, I’m terrible at that).
Improve Your Environment and Sensory Experiences
Make your home a place you enjoy. Get a cheap painting or some throw pillows in colors you love to bring joy. Get a fuzzy blanket for yourself, and light candles if you enjoy that.
While others may be tempted by the best low cost online casinos, for me, I hit the jackpot when I get to take a long hot shower for 15 minutes with no one knowing at the door. Play music while you’re in the shower and use some great smelling shampoos and body washes. Let the water pound on any sore muscles you have to relax them.
Baths. A great alternative to a shower. Put some essential oils in the water if you want. Put on some mood lighting such as a candle. Play some relaxing music. Bring in a cup of wine and/or a book and read and sip while you relax.
Try trading massages with friends or your spouse. Bribe your kids to give you a massage. If they don’t know how, teach them.
Do some DIY spa treatments with ingredients you already have at home, like a mask from oatmeal, a homemade sugar scrub, or a foot soak with things like mouth wash. (I know, sounds weird, but has lots of benefits.) Or you can probably buy some really cheap face masks and creams from the dollar store or similar.
Music. This is some of the best self care for me. Either chill out listening to music that matches your mood, or to change your mood, or get up and dance to the music. I like having playlists currated to my different moods.
Be Social. Or Don’t.
Make sure to fit in time to socialize with friends if that makes you happy. Make time to be alone without anyone if that fills your needs. I need both, so I make sure to also get socializing time as well as my alone time.
Support and get support from your friends. Vent, listen and validate. This is free, and while not as good as therapy, can fill some of that need.
Learn to say no. Learn to set boundaries with your time and energy. If you can’t do something, let people know that and don’t be pressured into doing things that eat away at your well being.
Or give. Contributing to a community and feeling a part of things is a great way to feel good. Making and setting up a community free library has been great self care for me.
Look into local support groups, either online or in person. I’m part of a few different support groups, including one about mental health, and they’re all free since they’re peer led.
Be Creative. Have Fun.
Adults need to have fun, not just kids. This is some of the best self care.
Borrow self-help books or uplifting reads from the library. Read a good novel. Listen to podcasts that make you smile. Watch a good movie. All free.
Try low cost art like sketching, coloring, or collaging with recycled materials. How about picking and pressing wild flowers. You can try digital art- recently I’ve been having lots of fun with this. I use some apps like sketchpad on my phone, and Canva has lots of free options, but they also have free trials for a month which you can then cancel, and they often offer them free again. So far I’ve gotten about 4 months free of Canva Plus.
Buy yourself small gifts that make you smile- funny socks, fake Lego, or diamond art. They sell these many places for very low cost, such as dollar stores, Shein, Aliexpress, etc. For me, some of my favorite self care is the occasional purchase of a snarky T shirt.
Schedule regular rest time. A time where you have nothing to do. Just to chill. Maybe sit with a cup of tea. Read a book. But nothing planned and no responsibilities. Without the guilt.
Go on vacation if possible. If you swap homes with someone else you can get free lodging. Or go camping at free or low cost sites.
This is just a very basic starting list. You know what you need and what makes you happy. All you need to do is decide that you are worth it, you are worth investing in. And when you invest in yourself, you then are able to give to others. Self care is the opposite of selfish.
What is your favorite type of self care? What do you actually do the most often? Do you do any of the things on this list?
