Therapy is one of the most important things I’ve done for myself and my family. I’ve been in therapy for the past 9 years or so, and each of my kids has been in therapy for years, and it makes a huge difference.
Therapy is a powerful tool for healing, growth, and navigating life’s challenges. It isn’t just for moments of crisis—it can help during transitions like divorce (your own or for kids when their parents are divorcing), job changes, or moving to a new place or school. It’s especially important when facing hardships such as financial struggles, marital conflict, or overwhelming stress, or when adjusting to having a child or sibling with special needs. Having a trained professional to guide you through these times can make all the difference between feeling stuck and moving forward with clarity and resilience.
Why Therapy Isn’t the Same as Talking to a Friend
Sometimes people say, “Why not just talk to a friend instead of paying for therapy?” While friendships are valuable and supportive, they aren’t a replacement for therapy. A therapist is trained to recognize patterns, teach coping skills, and guide you through challenges without judgment. Friends, no matter how good they are, don’t have the training to do this in a safe or structured way.
In fact, leaning on a friend as if they were your therapist can put a strain on the relationship. The dynamic shifts, and instead of a mutual give-and-take, one person ends up carrying the emotional weight. Over time, this can lead to resentment or even the loss of the friendship. Therapy offers something different: a professional space where the focus is fully on you, your healing, and your growth.
Do-It-Yourself Therapy Options
While not a replacement for therapy, there are “DIY” approaches that can be helpful if you’re on a tight budget. They are the least effective option compared to working with a therapist, but they are still better than doing nothing, especially when it comes to learning skills and building awareness.
Some highly recommended options include:
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) workbooks
- DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) workbooks
- IFS (Internal Family Systems) books and workbooks
When exploring DIY therapy, it’s important to stick to resources written by certified professionals in recognized therapy modalities. Be cautious with self-help books that are not backed by professional training or scientific evidence. For example, avoid approaches like Byron Katie’s “The Work“ or “The Surrendered Housewife” series, which are not based on established therapeutic frameworks and can cause immeasurable harm.
Pastoral Counseling
Many people turn to their pastor, rabbi, imam, or other faith leader for support, and pastoral counseling can be a wonderful option—if the person is trained in pastoral counseling. Some faith leaders do have this training, and may offer counseling free of charge or for a very low fee. Just make sure to confirm their background before relying on this as your main source of support. Please check this out first, though, since an untrained faith leader offering “therapy” can do worse than not going to anyone.
Therapy Through Insurance
If you have insurance, check whether it covers therapy. Sometimes you can get sessions fully or partially covered. Personally, I don’t use this option—other than a few sessions years ago when I was living in the U.S.—because therapy here is in the local language and I need it in English. I did attempt to use insurance therapy for one of my children, and while it ended up being a disaster, it wasn’t because of insurance itself. For many families, this is a very affordable way to get care.
Therapy Students in Training
Therapists in training often see clients as part of their supervised practice. These therapy students are partially trained and work closely with supervisors, which means you actually get two therapists helping you instead of just one. The sessions are usually much cheaper than a fully licensed therapist. I started out with a student therapist myself, and it was a valuable first step until I realized I needed a specialist for BPD. My sons’ high school also works with social work students, giving kids therapy at school. If you’re on a budget, this is an excellent option to explore.
Therapy at School
Sometimes schools themselves provide counseling services for students. If your child is struggling, ask whether the school offers therapy or has partnerships with outside providers. These programs can be free or very affordable.
Social Services’ Based Therapies
In many places, social services provide therapy either for free or on a sliding scale. This can make professional help much more accessible, especially for families going through difficult times. It’s worth checking with your local social services office to see what’s available. First check out your local social services- sometimes the local ones are known to be helpful, but sometimes they are known to cause trouble, so avoid getting those ones involved in your life, especially if you’re from a marginalized group who may be unfairly targeted by problematic social services.
Online Therapy
Online therapy is another option that can reduce costs. Services like BetterHelp are often more affordable than traditional in-person therapy, and everyone I know who has tried BetterHelp has been satisfied with the support they received. Online therapy also makes it easier to find a therapist in your language if that’s a barrier locally. (PS While I have been sponsored by BetterHelp in the past, this post is entirely non sponsored.)
Sliding Scales
When looking for therapists, try to see which ones advertise that they offer a sliding scale. Some therapists adjust their rates based on your income. It never hurts to ask. But don’t push if they say no; a therapist has every right to an income and if they don’t offer this, pushing for one will just start things off on a sour note. My daughter just started with a new therapist, and as it is the third therapy session weekly I’m paying for, so the sliding scale discount I’ve been given is extra helpful.
Adjust Timing
While most therapy sessions are weekly, if cost is an issue, consider going biweekly instead of weekly. This won’t work for everyone, especially when someone is in crisis, but if it is just for learning coping skills, it may be a good option. When I first separated from my ex in an unfortunately traumatic way that my kids witnessed (it involved police intervention) I started my kids in therapy despite not having the money for it. In addition to finding a therapist who offered a sliding scale discount, we staggered the kids’ therapy sessions so that while the kid who needed it most had therapy weekly, the other ones had therapy either once a month or every other week, so I wasn’t paying for more than 2 sessions a week.
Final Thoughts
Therapy is an investment in your mental health, and while it can feel financially out of reach, there are ways to make it possible. From DIY workbooks to therapy students, pastoral counseling to online options, there are many paths to support that won’t break the bank. The important thing is to recognize the value of therapy and to take steps, even small ones, toward making it accessible in your life. You and your mental health are worth it.
Are either you or your kids in therapy? In what way do you find you benefit the most from therapy? How do you make it affordable for your family?
