In my last post about my frugal solo trip to Bulgaria, I mentioned staying at the Hug Center Hostel and meeting the people who live there long term. One of my blog readers asked if I could interview them, people who actually live in a hostel full time, and I thought it would be fascinating to share their stories. They are all such characters as you can probably imagine reading this interview and it was fun to get to spend a few days with them. They were all game for this interview and had a great time too. They didn’t want to end when I finished all my originally planned questions, so I had to come up with more. We only stopped when my computer was about to die, since there was nowhere to plug it in in the common area.
The cast of characters
- Paul, from Norway, has been at the Hug Center Hostel for five months.
- James, from the Scottish Islands, is the temporary manager and says he has been here “too long.”
- Jenny, from “the block,” has lived in Bulgaria since becoming an adult and just returned to the hostel to stay for the winter after living here in the past.
- Penny, moi, your favorite blogger and frugal traveler,
Penny: What kind of life did you have before coming to live in a hostel long term?
Paul: Boring family life. Screaming kids, way too much TV on too loud a volume. I was a businessman; every phone call was some complaint. I hate telephones.
James: I had three businesses that became successful. Then I decided I wanted a free life and to go back to Mother Nature. Better to live among the minimals than the giants.
Jenny: Complicated and boring, the typical matrix lifestyle.
Penny: Was there a turning point or decision that led you to this lifestyle?
Paul: Cancer was the turning point.
James: I agree. Also cancer.
Jenny: There was not one. It was a gradual shift, just making life better.
Penny: Have you always liked traveling and communal living, or is this something new for you?
Paul: I have always been some kind of traveler, but I used to work a lot. The communal living came later, in the last 20 years. Before that, I stayed in hotels.
James: I traveled from 17 until 29. Then I realized the world all looks the same no matter where you go, so just find a nice spot and stay there, why leave.
Paul: (Agrees.)
Jenny: I am not really living a traveling lifestyle. I live in a hostel, and it happens to be in the same country I was already in. I started traveling after I had already been living in a hostel. It was part of that gradual change I mentioned earlier, and even now, I am the least traveled person in the hostel.
Penny: What do you enjoy most about this lifestyle, and what do you miss about having a “normal” home?
Paul: I am voluntarily homeless. I choose this life because I do not want to own anything, and that in itself is a relief.
James: So you are a minimalist?
Paul: No, I buy lots of stuff and have to get rid of it once in a while. It is not a minimalist life. I miss having a girlfriend.
Jenny: We get everything secondhand, we will find you one.
Paul: I do not have enough money for that. But if I ever win the lottery…
James: I miss nothing from my previous lifestyle. This one lets me meet different people with different personalities, which is interesting because of how society makes them think. It makes you analyze them differently, like a chess game.
Jenny: Repeat the question.
Penny: What do you miss about having a normal home?
James: What is a normal home?
Paul: A dishwasher.
Jenny: The people I connect with, new challenges, danger, risk, and reward. What I miss most is the bliss that comes with ignorance, eating fast food without feeling guilty. People who exited the matrix before me taught me how things work and how much damage my old lifestyle was doing to me.
Penny: What has this experience taught you about yourself or people in general?
Paul: Most people like to be good. I like to be good too. You hear stuff about other countries, and people are nice all over. Well, mostly. I have learned that I do not know anything.
Jenny: I did not exactly learn anything. I found the courage and acceptance to do what I already thought was right in the world.
James: To be humble. Gracious and kind.
(They all laugh.)
James: And to be decent. People have their own opinions, that is up to them. When people stop trying to overpower each other, the world will be a better place.
Penny: Do you see this as a temporary chapter or a lifestyle you want to continue?
Paul: As long as my health allows, I want to stay in hostels for the rest of my life. It is better than an old age home. It is a good life, social and all that.
James: Because of my religious beliefs, I want to live with people who do not have anything for 40 years. I am 29 years into it. You can never be bigger than the person who has less than you. You have to live among the meek to reap the values of the earth.
Jenny: I want to continue. I cannot imagine a better life, but I thought the same thing 20 years ago. I am happy now. I think I will do this forever, but I am open to changing my mind if I find something even better.
Penny: What kind of relationships or connections have you formed here?
Paul: Randoms.
James: I found my girlfriend here.
Jenny: All the best ones.
Penny: Is there a particular story, moment, or friendship that stands out from your time here?
Paul: It happens all the time, special friendships, good talks, lots of great moments.
James: I have met so many people with their own problems. When they come here, we talk, we connect, and they heal, sometimes without realizing it. We have helped a lot of people naturally, no matter who they are. That is why we are known as the Hug Center. We do not judge. We try to help.
Paul: (Disagrees and laughs his head off.)
Jenny: There have been many challenges and new ways of living discovered. For me, the most important thing was finding the acceptance to finally live as the woman I was meant to be.
Penny: What advice would you give to someone who feels stuck or lost and is thinking of starting over like you did?
Paul: Forget your old life. History is history. Tomorrow does not exist, it is always now. Just do it. Do not write “Nike.”
James: Go for it. Forget the past. The past is in the past. Look toward the future, you cannot be happy if you live in the past.
Paul: Do not burn bridges. You cannot go back if you burn bridges.
Jenny: Short answer, I do not know.
Paul: Stay home and watch TV. (Laughs.)
Jenny: In the end, no one journey is right for everyone. To know what is really good for someone, you have to get to know the individual. My advice is to try things out. Do not let society tell you what you should be doing. Do not let your family, your friends, or your religion tell you. Or your psychiatrist. Find what is good for you, and if people try to stop you from doing it, they are not your friends.
Penny: Have you been to other hostels before?
Paul: Yes, plenty.
Penny: What makes you leave one and go to another?
Paul: The level of freedom and the people you meet. It is not about the place itself.
James: One other hostel, all my life. It was society, metaphorically. Society tells you how to live your life. Life is like living in a hostel. No matter where you are, if you have a room above your head, you are “hostelized.”
Jenny: I spent one winter in a hostel. It was a lovely prototype experience.
Penny: What does home mean to you now?
Paul: Here is my base camp. That is all I have, and I am happy with that. I can leave it all behind without thinking twice, but there is nowhere else to go, so there is that.
Penny: When you leave for the day, do you think about wanting to come home?
Paul: No. I do not leave this place.
James: I believe in Mother Nature, and the Hug Hostel is about Mother Nature. Everything is organic to a degree, everything as natural as could be.
Paul: Also known as primitive.
James: A hostel with a difference.
Penny: So home means nature.
James: Nature means everything. Nothing else. Everything else is a smokescreen.
Penny: Any last thing you want to share with people reading this interview?
Paul: Lots of people need to get out there, take that first step, meet people. Second piece of advice, do not listen to James.
James: Everybody on this planet comes into this world free, naked, no inhibitions, no animosity. Those things are put on us by society. If we want to get back to a place with no animosity, we need to go back to only the bare essentials, being free, natural, and who we can be. We do not judge. We are not allowed to judge. Who are we to judge people for being different than we are.
Jenny: Screw Microsoft.
Would you ever consider staying at a hostel for long term? Would you want to ask these people any further questions?
