Hi everyone! I’ve been sitting on some exciting news for a while. I’ve shared a little bit about it on Facebook, but with very few details. I’ve decided it’s finally time to share more here on the blog, so here goes!
I’ve been dating a guy named Ben (a pseudonym) for a few months now.
When I told him I wanted to write about him on my blog, he asked what our relationship had to do with frugal living. I explained that people have been following my life here for many years, from the births of my children to my divorce, and sharing major life updates has always been part of this blog. I don’t write about every guy I date, but when a relationship becomes more serious, it’s something I want to share.
Additionally, dating my boyfriend specifically has a connection to the frugal aspect of my blog. He’s a frugal guy himself and encourages me to be more frugal, even when I might want to take the easy way out. He enjoys comparing prices and encourages me not to just go with the first price I’m quoted.
Ben’s also really good with his hands and has done so many things to save me money around my home. He installed a few new energy-efficient light fixtures (which we found on a budget after comparing prices at several different places), replaced the lock on my front door, fixed my daughter’s computer, set up a home network for us that works despite the cement walls that were blocking our Wi-Fi signal, and much more. Every time he did something like that, I wanted to share it on my blog as a money-saving tip, but it wasn’t time yet because I hadn’t shared about him.
Being in a relationship as a divorced mom of four also brings up a whole new set of parenting challenges. It isn’t easy, I must admit. Balancing dating with taking care of the kids and figuring out what boundaries to draw has taken a lot of soul-searching and professional help, and I’m still working on it. It’s part of the reason we started family counseling, in addition to the trauma therapy I’ve already been going to for the past 10 years.
On top of that, figuring out where we want to go from here in our relationship, and how to navigate that in a way that takes the kids needs into account, is yet another challenge we’re working through together. I’m currently reading a book called The Step Family Handbook; From Dating to Getting Serious to Forming a “Blended Family” and I’m finding it both helpful and enlightening.
So, a little about him. I’m not sharing too much because he’s a rather private person, and just because I share my life online doesn’t mean all his information needs to be out there for the world.
Ben is 38, single, never been married, and has no kids. He doesn’t want to have kids of his own (which makes things much simpler because I’m pretty much done having kids). He works as a computer technician and salesman, installs security cameras, and works with networks. He’s a super friendly and social guy, not to mention someone who loves helping people. I often find him behind the desk in offices we’re visiting (whether at my mechanic’s or the doctor’s office), helping them with whatever computer issues they’re dealing with.
Ben grew up here and speaks the local language, along with some English, which he’s working on improving. We communicate entirely in the local language, and honestly, it makes me feel like a real native to be able to have a serious relationship in a language that isn’t my mother tongue!
Ben has a love of adventure, just like I do, and we spend a lot of time exploring the country we live in, and hope to explore more with him.
Being in a healthy, loving relationship after a strained marriage has been so healing for me. It is beautiful, and I wake up each day with a smile, and it doesn’t leave my face the whole day. I’m very glad to have found someone who complements me and my life and is such an amazing person and loves me back.
